Cycles: the basis of life 

and the pain in my ass. 

Everything in life goes through a cycle, whether it be it's life cycle or any other cycle that can/do occur throughout the day. But there are some that we can control without it being essential to life itself. 

Some of these are the trends in our wardrobe, some of them are our favorite colors and some are how our relationships function.

The last one is what this post will be about. 

There are a few people that our relationship is almost completely based on these cycles that we create. 

For instance, my mother and I. From the time I hit puberty to the time I left for college, we had a cycle throughout the year. We'd start off great. She would trust me, I would do my chores, I would tell her things going on in my life, and things were grand. Then one of two things would happen, I would slack on my chores and pretend to make an honest effort to do them OR my report card would come (which was always a cause for a fight seeing as I was never quite the honor roll student) and metaphorically and graphically speaking, shit would hit the fan. So, a majority of the time in high school was spent in said "shit-hit-fan" stage.

Since I've gone to college that cycle hasn't changed, but the amount spent in each stage has changed.  She gets furious with me, shit hitting the fan kind of angry, but it lasts   m a y b e   a weekend, and then it's done. We become the disgustingly loving mother daughter duo and stay in that state for far longer.

But I have cycles with a few of my friends. 

Mr Always-There for example; he's always been there for me (go figure) and 8 years into our friendship I'm realizing the majority of the time that I seek him out is when I need him and I let our relationship fall to the wayside when I'm in a relationship. It broke my heart when I finally realized it and have been making an honest effort to change that. 

Then, there is Mr Wishful Thinking; he's the one I get my hopes up about frequently. We have this cycle where we text non-stop for a few weeks and things seem to be going well, we announce whatever feelings are present, and they are usually mutual and things go swimmingly. Butterflies and giggling at texts, the whole nine yards (as horribly cheesey as THAT is).  After a few weeks, I notice he's not texting as much, and I start trying to over analyse things, feel like I'm getting mixed messages and attempt to quit the process, inevitably pushing him away. we don't talk for a few months, then one of us texts the other, and BAM, again starts the cycle of wishful thinking. 

"This time will be different" "We're being super up front, I can't get hurt". 

wishful thinking. 

These cycles are what keeps life going, but also causing a metaphorical pain in my buttox.