You might as well call me Tom...

I finally understand my connection to the movie (500) Days of Summer. 

(If you haven't watched it, do so. It's one of the best crafted movies I've seen, and that's saying a lot.)

just to give you a little idea this is the openening line of the movie;

"This is a story of boy meets girl. The boy, Tom Hansen of Margate, New Jersey, grew up believing that he'd never truly be happy until the day he met the one. This belief stemmed from early exposure to sad British pop music and a total mis-reading of the movie 'The Graduate'. The girl, Summer Finn of Shinnecock, Michigan, did not share this belief. Since the disintegration of her parent's marriage she'd only love two things. The first was her long dark hair. The second was how easily she could cut it off and not feel a thing. Tom meets Summer on January 8th. He knows almost immediately she is who he has been searching for. This is a story of boy meets girl, but you should know upfront, this is not a love story."

But back to the revelation I just had....

You are my Summer.

 You are the person that no matter how well things are going, you will pull away, send mixed signals and string me along. 

Now, I understand you're just jaded beyond comprehension because your last ex was a twat (excuse my English name calling) but that doesn't entitle you to take it out on someone who actually has WORKED to make sure you understand that I would do anything/everything in my power to make sure that you understand you are cared about and even loved. 

Last year and earlier this summer we were the exact reflection of Summer and Tom in the scariest way. 

You were telling me that you didn't want anything serious; but I remained naively loyal and hopeful that you would come around and just decide that you wanted to be WITH me. 

We were even so similar to Summer and Tom that you would go from holding my hand and kissing me to telling me that I needed to understand we weren't serious. 

The main difference between us and Tom and Summer is that we ARE togethernow, and you're beginning to pull the same thing. Between the "I love you"'s and the cuddle sessions you just seem irritated and done with me.

As much as I love you and as hard as I've tried to be everything you need....

You need to quit being Summer and try. 

If you are having your doubts, let's not string this along any further.... okay?

That would really suck, and I'd be a bit damaged for a long long time, but I really hate wasting my time, energy and emotion on people who either don't care, or don't want to care. 

I love you, but I can't be Tom anymore....